Someday, on something other than flowers

Hey!

So, various things. Firstly, I have a number of new ambitions in my life:

1. To become an astronomer. OK, so this is wildly unrealistic and after researching I found out I need Maths and Physics (*wide eyes*) and am less than apt at both of those. Still, I watched a documentary on C.S. Lewis, Narnia and the planets (WATCH. Or read Planet Narnia. It fascinated me, since everyone [OK, so a couple of you :P] always dismisses Narnia on the whole 'Oh but it's some ridiculous, thinly-veiled Biblical writing, and poor writing at that' thing. Michael Ward and I laugh at you.) and it has inspired me to at least pretend one day I'll look at planets :P
2. To become an archivist. Much more likely, too! I went to the Special Collection at Sussex Library today for some Art History thing or other, and was absolutely fascinated by everything in there. Honestly, holding the handwritten notes of a man observing a British Union party meeting in wartime Britain made me shiver. And the Woman's Own records from 1945! Haha, they're hilarious, poignant, familiar, nostalgic. Didn't help my new housewife curiosity much, either. Oh! And they have the correspondence of VIRGINIA WOOLF. Why did I not know this?! Why am I not there now?!
   
3. To go to church. In the shower today I realised that I have never actually been to a proper service. Like, I've been to Christmas school carol singing and flute playing and Easter blah blahs (yeah, and that is a technical term :P), but I realised this whole institution upon which my youth was based has made such a poor surface impression but is still ingrained in there somewhere. I was thinking about those days when we all actually did believe the aura surrounding it, like when I got that little red Gideon's Bible and nearly died when I heard Spencer had ripped the pages out of his and threw it in the street. I wrote my name in it too, and read it. But now I realise I wouldn't have a clue how a church 'worked' inside, how it feels to be in a congregation, how it feels to be preached to! As soon as I was old enough I was pretty much out of there, embracing high school, neo-paganism and teen culture (and Teen Culture :P) in that order. So my newest, and easiest, ambition is to actually step foot inside a church and witness that which is still clouded in superstition and primary school awkwardness, and not do what I always do in churches: revert to that skinny, gangly girl in shirtsleeves and a pinafore playing flute in a hall so cold it hurt my lips. Observation! Education!
   

And regarding the whole church thing, I'm thoroughly curious right now about ideas of being 'Born Again'. Conversion. I'm pretty on the fence with the religion thing (see this) but am currently fascinated with how people are 'saved' etc. etc. Most crucially I'm interested in the idea of a 'Proverbs 31 Woman', which fits into my new attraction to the simple life. I can totally understand why women love the idea of caring for others, of being a good wife and mother, even of being subservient (diffusion of responsibility, anyone?), but am yet to be fully convinced by why this movement - obvious in its reaction against modern consumerism and McDonald's culture - is so fundamentally and importantly 'Christ-like', and why this is such a pre-requisite when one could just have a list of similar rules without involving religion. So I'm doing what anyone with an impressionable mind crying for answers would do: read blogs :P
Have no fear, certain members of my friendship group! I am tempering this curiosity with a healthy dose of atheist blogs for that essential balance, like Daylight Atheism. Oh, and reading a book on American New Age spiritualism for a bit of variety :P
It's not a spiritual crisis, either. Nothing that exciting.

Wow, this post is becoming a beast. Lastly, I'm settling back into uni life well :) Nights like yesterday, sitting on the bus with Kate, Georgie, Anneka and Laura, making each other yawn and laughing about things that aren't funny today, remind me of why I love it here.

I haven't proof-read this, either, because I've been reading all day and have sore eyes. Bear with me :)

All my love, Lucy
xxx